MORRISON SCHOOL
LOSES DR.BENES!!
Total chaos now reigns
at the Morrison Public School with the announcement that their Instructional
Technology Consultant, the legendary Dr. Clarance Benes, has left to teach
history at rival school Frontier High School! Superintendent Dennis
Casey is devastated with the news..."I just don't know what to do...I
mean, you know, he advanced us up here several decades in our computer
and tech skills (now computer skill
levels at Morrison are approaching the year 1987 standards)
and
he was the greatest thing that ever happened to this school, except
of course, me winning all of those football games..." Casey's
concerns are that now that Benes has left to work with a school that
is at the 22nd century level with their technology that his teachers
will fall back into old habits..."I saw DAVID CARTMELL coming
into the office asking for a supply of white-out in order to do some word
processing and then there is JOE SINDELAR,,, well, he is starting
to look at his computer kind of funny and is asking
RANDY SHIEVER how
to turned it on!" PAT WAYMAN thinks the crisis is a bit
overrated. "Now that I am Eaglet 1st Class, certified by
Dr.Benes himself, I can handle most computer problems, especially those
web pages problems." Of course we have Janice and Diane but they
are overworked with their current duties so I can help. I still have
Dr.Benes on Yahoo instant messenger and I have gotten real fast at typing
HELP!" |
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HOW FRONTIER
SCHOOL STOLE BENES
Before Casey gets into
big trouble for losing Benes to rival school Frontier, the details of the
transfer might help Casey in his defense before the board of education.
You see, Morrison Schools couldn't afford to hire Benes in the first place,
I mean a professional with all of his credentials, etc. so Benes agreed
to work for peanuts...out of loyalty to his former school and the opportunity
to keep a eye on JOE SINDELAR for more stories. There was just one
catch... besides the pathetic token amount of money he received each month,
the Morrison school, or its employees, or Casey himself had to FEED HIM!
He literally "will teach for food." Well former Morrisonite and now Superintendent
STEVE SHIEVER of Frontier Schools knew better than to offer free food with
the job offer. "We offered him a ton of money BUT no free food...
We may be rich up here but not THAT rich!" So while the peanut salary
and free food at the Morrison School had nearly busted the budget (they
did have a special bond issue) STEVE SHIEVER who always had
several more bricks to his load than DENNIS CASEY, negotiated the
trade of the millennium and got Benes for a fraction of the nation's GNP!
ELDON BURK WILL CUT HAIR FOR TOMATOES!
Speaking of working
for food, ELDON BURK has been known to cut hair for tomatoes! It
is not known how long this offer may last so you had better hurry and take
your load of tomatoes down to his Lela suburb Barber shop. He might even
take them in on a trade for a new saddle!
Be sure to visit Dr. Benes's Murder
Mystery home page. |
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SMOKEY RETURNS TO OKLAHOMA!
The
editor feline buddy Smokey has return to OK after 6 years of devouring
Kentucky's state bird, the Cardinal. OK residents have nothing to
fear since the state bird, the Scissor-tail Flycatcher, apparently has
a bigger bird brain than the Cardinal and most Kentuckians and can't be
captured by the incredibly fast Smokey.
J & J AUTO'S BUSINESS
UP 25%!
With the return
of Clarance Benes to the area on a more permanent bases, business has jumped
at least 25% at J & J's AUTO. "There for awhile he had two Ford
pickups and now he's got a Honda, and it is all we can do just to keep
one of them running. He's traveling all over the states for his businesses
and extra curricular activities and it may require hiring more help.
DWIGHT RYMER HOLDS
NEW RECORD FOR KNEE SURGERIES!
Morrison has always
had its champions and heroes, well we can add yet another to the list.
RETIRED BANKER DWIGHT RYMER holds the undisputed title of having the most
knee surgeries in the shortest time of any human on earth! (Well,
at least in these parts) His weekly knee surgeries earned him this
title and came as a result of the old saying, "You can't keep a good man
down." although his wife MARY RYMER wonders what that saying has to do
with him....
ITS BEEN HOT!!!
With temperatures over
100 degrees most days recently, the editor is reminded of the, "It's hotter
than _________" lines. Well, lately it has been hotter than JOE SINDELAR
after getting hit in his big ugly nose by a RANDOMLY THROWN snowball a
few years ago! |
"Committed
to Reporting MORE than just the Truth!"